Thursday, February 2, 2012

Girly Girls and Hurt Feelings

My youngest daughter is a girly girl. She loves people and is generally great in a crowd; she is the life of a party even when it is a bunch of teenagers and adults. But she has always been a bit emotional and sensitive.  This in itself is not a bad thing, it makes her very open to other people's feelings and she cares about others. But she also is quick to get her feeling hurt over things that others just don't think twice about. Sadly, she gets this from her mother. I am trying to teach her that she needs to be in control of her own feelings and not allow others to dictate how she feels. It is a hard lesson to teach a ten year old.

I am close to my children, we talk about everything in their lives but I also believe that there are two sides to every story and then there is the truth somewhere within those two sides. Especially, when you are dealing with children. So, when she gets in the car after school and tells me about something that happens in the cafeteria or on the playground, I always ask if she did something to cause the incident. Is there more to the story that is not being shared. She is my youngest child, I have learned to dig deeper. Sometimes they are embarrassed to tell the details or they have forgotten or they just don't want to tell the full truth. Possibly, they just truly don't know what brought on an issue but if questioned it will come out.

The the question is do you allow your child  to navigate the waters on their own or step in? Do you allow them to learn how to resolve an on and off conflict with someone? I was told two completely different opinions on this issue when I shared my daughter's situation with a couple of people.  Mind you this was not a situation where she was being bullied, hurt (other than feelings) or anything critical. It was just little girls getting their feelings hurt over a small issue.

What do you think?

1 comments:

  1. I guess I would step in if I see it as an ongoing problem but I would want to let her handle it 1st, have you talked to her about different ways to handle the situation? Maybe give her samples of words to use? Sometimes young girls don't realize they are hurting others feelings until they are told.

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