Confessions of A Proverbs 31 Wannabe

Babies in Church

2012-02-01T09:43:00.001-05:00

I am giving you a "soapbox" warning on this post: meaning I am getting on my soapbox about something.

Over the last few days, I have been chewing on this subject because I was in church on Sunday a person behind me kept saying "Amen", "Yes, Brother", etc to everything the pastor said. I mean everything the pastor said. It got to the point that I was so distracted by him, I got to the point of anticipating the next Amen. On the way home from church our topic of conversation in the car turned to this gentleman and his style of worship vs. babies in church. We just do not understand how a baby gurgling or even crying if it is not a full blown cry is any more distracting than this gentleman.

Our church has had a baby boom over the last year. I am not sure of the number of babies but I think we have had about 10-12 babies born over the past year. There is a nice nursery in the church but a lot of new parents like to have their babies with them in church for a few months. There has been a great debate over when the right time to take babies to the nursery and when to remove the babies from the service is. I think if a parent wants to bring their baby or toddler to church it is their right. Other people think babies should never be in church, they should go right to the nursery that is why it is provided. I do not think anyone has a right to tell parents that they have to put their baby in a nursery even at church. I think we should feel welcome at church of all places. Do people really think the sermon on the mount was quiet? But when people started complaining about the children, what did Jesus say?

Jesus said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them,

for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these." Matthew 19:14

Who's your hero?

2012-01-31T09:44:00.000-05:00

I got a new Cricut cartridge a couple of weeks ago from a friend. I was really excited to get it because in my house we have an ongoing argument about Superheros. My childhood favorite superhero was Superman but my children love others and their list is long: Spiderman, Batman, etc. win out over Superman. They can tell you all about why their superheros are better than Superman. But for me Superman will always be the best.

My Cricut friends might have an idea where this is going. So, my friend sent me an email and asked if I had use for the Superman cartridge. I said "yes" faster than my little hands could type. Then I could not wait for a reason to use it. I got a chance this weekend to play with my cartridge and decided instead of just making a card, I would try my had at a 3D image. With my wonderful husband's help here is what I made:

Washi Tape

2012-01-28T23:07:00.003-05:00

I just discovered this new product, Washi Tape. It is so pretty! I ordered 6 rolls because I am curious how to use it. There are so many styles on website that I had just pick two and go with it. Love the music notes because my kids are music geeks. I know will get a lot of use out of that one but I have a huge wishlist for the future, too.

I like cutetape.com because they have a lot of products to choose from, the website is easy to navigate and they have a blog with ideas, suggestions and other great things for you to learn!

You can buy it at www.cutetape.com/shop and their Facebook page is https://www.facebook.com/cutetape for more information and inspiration!

Are You Talking About Me?

2012-01-27T08:59:00.000-05:00

Whydo we especially women take things so personally? I am the first to admitI do this on a regular basis. I have been told so many times in my lifethat I need to grow a thicker skin that I have lost count. This phenomenon is so common in women that I have seenit in my family, church, and work, on Facebook and on websites. Someonewill make an innocent comment and twist it into something it was not meant tobe. Like I said, I embarrassed to say I do this more often than I am happy toadmit. As a forty plus year old woman I need to put on my big girl pantsand realize something and maybe you do too, everything is not about me. Everythingwritten and uttered is not directed at my children, my family, my lifestyle oreven what I just said five minutes ago. I really think overall this comesfrom an (yes, I am going to say it) insecurity in women that something we aredoing does not measure up to other women. Are we parenting as well as theother moms? Are our marriages as good as our neighbors? Are our homes as nice? We need to STOP the madness. We need to be secure in knowing thatwe are exactly who we are made to be. That God did not made any mistakes whenHe created us and know that not everyone is talking about us when they make asimple remark.

Iam going to offer a simple challenge today. Post a comment here if you arewilling to try to stop taking things personally that people post online or sayin general conversation. I will send a small "bouquet" of handmadeflowers to a one random poster (this is just a sample colors will vary).

Hug Your Children Today

2012-01-25T10:23:00.000-05:00

Over the past few weeks, I have learned about the suicides of several teenagers. The senseless deaths of these children breaks my heart and makes me hold mine just a little tighter each day. When I look back at my high school years, we rarely heard of a peer committing suicide although it did happen it seems to happen a lot more often now. To think that kids with their whole lives ahead of them cannot find enough joy, love, and most of all hope to hang on just one more day absolutely breaks my heart.

This card went to the family of an 18 yr old named Jarrod, he committed suicide because he was being bullied. Another girl, Parker, took her life this weekend possibly due to overwhelming issues at home. Noah took his life because of an onslaught of medical issues that came on fast and the pressure as a teen was just too much. Young lives with bright futures who thought they had no where to turn and no hope. Heartbreaking.

If you know someone who has had a child die no matter the cause of death or the age of the child there is a organization that has free resources available to them. The group is a national nonprofit group called Bereaved Parents of the USA. There are chapters all over the country; they have people to talk to, newsletters, monthly meetings and yearly gatherings. The national website is www.bereavedparentsusa.org from there you can find many resources and the local chapters.

Friend's, Friday's & the Future

2012-01-23T10:48:00.003-05:00

I spend a lot of time thinking about my oldest daughter's upcoming journey to college lately, it seems to consume our household sometimes. This weekend, as we were trying to register her for the SAT she was talking about how much time it was taking to login and just give the college board the basic information they needed in order to take the test (20 minutes).

Friday nights when I was in high school were a work night because everyone else was at football games, dates or the movies. For my family Friday nights are football games at least in the fall. Now that football season is over I expected my daughter to hang out with her friends and have a little fun. Instead, she and a friend have formed a study plan for the upcoming SAT. They will be headed to the local library with the 3-4" thick SAT study guide and study for a couple of hours hoping to get their test score up in the spring. They both did great on Critical Reading and Writing but Math is just not their strong suit.

This is the book they choose to use because the math section looked the best. My daughter commented that the girl on the front also looked very "thrilled", just like they will for the next 4 months of Friday nights. Wish them luck!

Joy of Things to Come

2012-01-20T09:43:00.001-05:00

When I think back to the time when I first found out I was going to be a mom I was overwhelmed with emotions. Those emotions ran from joy to terror. I would envision all the possibilities of things to come with this child I had never met, I had never seen and never held. Then as the pregnancy progressed the reality of the situation reared it's ugly head: I would be responsible for this child. I would the responsibility for all this child's needs and care. Then I was terrified! All of my pregnancies were the same way, it was not as if having one child made me a pro at the game. I am looking back at those times as I watch younger women around me start their families and I wonder if they feel the same way or if they are less freaked out by they whole thing than I was.

There are still days when I look at my teenagers or my preteen and I wonder what in heck I am going to do in this situation? But through A LOT of prayer God always gives guidance. He has not failed me in my parenting. I do not long for those days of babies and toddlers, I enjoy making cards and going to showers for these ladies who are in that stage of their lives. I am enjoying each stage of my children's lives and looking forward (not eagerly always) to the joy of things to come.

Don't forget to check out the post from 1/16/12 post for a chance to win a prize.

Pen Pal

2012-01-18T09:22:00.001-05:00

I recently sent a card to a Marine in boot camp, she was hitting a wall and needed a bit of encouragement. I decided that it would be nice to send a card and a personal note. If someone is going to enlist and put their life on the line for me, the least I can do is take a few minutes and send them a card. I was overjoyed yesterday to receive a letter back from her. She was thankful that I had taken the time to write and liked my card. I have decided to send another card. Here is her card and a reminder to pray for our armed forces.

Love Your Neighbor Challenge

2012-01-16T09:30:00.000-05:00

Our local radio station recently did apromotion encouraging listeners to do a random act of kindness for a stranger. This is a promotion they have done for the past couple of years, mychildren love this promotion; it is the DriveThrough Difference. The way it works is when you get to the window at thedrive through you pay for your order but you also pay for the person behindyou. Then you give the cashier a letter downloaded from the radio stationwebsite explaining to the car behind you that they have been the recipient of arandom act of kindness. If they would like to call the radio station thecontact information is on the form. Most of the cashiers are shocked thatyou want to pay for someone else's meal but more than that the person behindyou is usually very happy. I was the recipient of this kind of gesturerecently and it made my day. The person in front of me at a Starbuck's paid formy tea because he thought I was pretty. I am 42 years old with 3 childrenthat is a nice no matter what.

Anyway, I am nottelling you what random act of kindness to do. You don't have to buy a meal ata drive through. You can send a card to someone who needs a encouraging word;you can send a small gift; you can make a meal for a new mom; you can go visita homebound member of your church. There are a lot of things you can dothat are acts of kindness. You can do anything you feel led to do. Youhave one week to complete your mission and comment here about it. If you don'twant to give a detail that is ok you just have to post that you have donesomething.

Make sure I have away to contact you if you are the winner. The challenge will end on 1/23/12 andthe prize is pictured below.

Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul andwith all your mind and with all your strength. Thesecond is this: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no commandment greater than these. Matthew12:30-31

Loving My Husband

2012-01-13T10:12:00.003-05:00

I wastalking to a friend the other day and she mentioned that she does not like tohear people say "Oh, you are starting a family now." when some getspregnant. She said you start your family when you get married. I had never reallygiven any thought to this distinction but she is 100% right. The bibleeven makes this clear in scripture because scripture tells us therefore shall a man leave his father and mother , and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. (Gen 2:24 KJV) When Scott and I got married and had children we made a decision that ourfamily would not be child centered.

That's not to say that we don't love our children, we do. We hadseen couples whose whole marriages were about nothing but their children. All they talked about were their children, everything they did centered ontheir children's activities and the never did anything as a couple they alwayshad their children with them. It left us to wonder what are those couplesgoing to do when their children grow up and leave the nest are they even goingto know each other anymore? Because they are not cultivating their marriage,they are just raising their children. We felt it was important to doboth.

It is hard to have a balance in a family, especially one with ahouseful of children and their activities. Add to this making time foryour husband or wife and things get crazy at times. Because Scott and Imade this a priority in the beginning of our marriage we have littleand big ways of covering this, I am not saying it is perfect but we make itwork. We sometimes just send the kids to their rooms and have a cup ofcoffee on the couch and watch a movie together. We also have set date nights; strangely thesehave gotten less often as the kids have gotten older.

But the most important thing I can say about our marriage is Scott and I try to do things thatthe other likes even if it does not appeal to us at first. Now, that I am making cardsand scrapbooking, Scott has been checking out Blogs with me and is interestedcraving stamps something he did for another hobby we share: Letterboxing. Hewas fascinated with Magnolia stamps and photos of cards, so I got a stampfor him to tryout. Here is a creation of a card that we made together.Scott is the artist:

Simmering Pots (revised)

2012-01-12T09:30:00.000-05:00

When I waslittle I loved going to my grandmother’s house. She would wake up really early in the morning and as she had her firstcup of coffee, she would begin cooking dinner. She would chop onions, garlic, green pepper and other spices dependingon what she was cooking. I would sit atthe table drinking coffee with a lot of sugar and milk amazed at how little shecould chop onions. She would cook hugepots of food and they would simmer on the stove all day.

Grandma’s doorswere never locked; beginning midmorning until late in the evening people wouldcome eat from those pots on the stove. Family and friends alike would gather at her table for nourishment. If you were hungry or just needed someone totalk to my grandma welcomed you into her home. Her house was always noisy and filled with love. I cannot feedpeople the way my grandma did. Instead Ihave learned to ask God to reveal to me opportunities to feed the hungry andclothe those who are in need. It is alegacy that I wish to pass on to my own children.

I had an opportunity to make a couple of scrapbook pages to help put together a book that will be auctioned off to raise money for someone going through an illness. I knew that I would use one of my grandmother's recipes when I started making the pages. I am happy that someone far away from me will be flipping through the pages of a beautiful recipe book they won; hopefully they choose to cook my grandmothers Jambalaya. That their home will be filled with all the wonderful smells of my childhood.

For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me,

I was in prison and you came to visit me.

Matthew 25:35-36

Ribbons, Bows and Girly Girls

2012-01-11T09:30:00.000-05:00

I have two daughters that are polar opposites of each other. My oldest daughter is a very what you see is what you get kind of girl. She gets up in the morning has no time for make up or messing with elaborate hairdos in front of the mirror because that would mean she would loose precious sleep time. From the time she could dress herself her sense of style was as comfortable as you can get into.

On the other hand my youngest daughter is my all out frilly daughter. The girly cute outfit is always her choice and dressing her has always been a chore. At three she refused to put on a dress because it was not pretty enough. She is the girl that comes in the room in the morning and tells me how she would like to have her hair done each day from the time she could voice an opinion about it.

As different as both of these girls are they are both thrilled that I have figured out how to make hair bows. Each for their own personal reasons. My oldest daughter walks in Relay for Life every year since 5th grade when she lost a classmate to cancer. She will use the bows as a fundraiser for her Relay team. My youngest is happy that I can make bows for her collection and her friends. It's a win-win for our family.

Give It Away

2012-01-10T09:00:00.000-05:00

When I started making cards I only made a card when I needone. As the scrapping bug bit me, I began creating cards and sitting themon a shelf. I was happy to have a "stash" of cards for just incase I need them. I do not have a huge stash because I just began thisjourney of card making but as I have started blog hopping and reading messageboards, I have learned that there are people with huge stashes of cards. Itmade me wonder why? Who are they saving these cards for? Does it reallymatter if people rave over the cards we make? Is that why I do this? Notreally, I make cards because I don't want my brain to turn to mush because Ihave not done anything but sit in front of a TV! Yes, I like it whenpeople enjoy my cards but I don't need to get fulfillment from their praise. The joy comes from making the card itself and the joy it brings to theperson not from the praise they give me over the card.

There are wildly creative people whose works ofart are just sitting on a shelf begging to be enjoyed by someone whose dayneeds to be brightened but they are just sitting in a room not being shared. I am not sure why. Some crafters lament that their work isnot appreciated enough by the recipient so they will not send thecard. Others may not think the work is good enough. Others may justenough creating and not really have a person in mind to send the card to. To me my cards aren't finished until they are in an envelope signed andready to go to the person they were created for not sitting on a shelf lookingpretty.

We can entertain compassion

For a world in need of care

But the road of good intentions

Doesn't lead to anywhere

'Cause love isn't love

'Til you give it away

You gotta give it away

Michael W. Smith

I Rock My Halo

2012-01-06T10:54:00.000-05:00

People look at Christian's and they think they should fit into a certain mold. We should act and be a certain way. That we sit in church with frown's on our faces and no joy in our lives . We set out to make everyone's lives as joyless and boring as our own. There is a guy that comes downtown every Friday with a bullhorn and a sign proclaiming to the people on their lunch breaks that they are sinners they are going to hell and the world is ending. He does this all with a monotone voice and no joy on his face. Is he right? Do people need Christ? Yes. But is anyone listening? NO and I agree with a lot of what he says.

I think a lot of people see Christian's like the bullhorn guy and are turned off by him; they think this is what Christianity is about. That they will have to become him to follow Christ. As Christian's we do have to behave at a different standard because the world is watching us. We need to walk our walk, more than we talk our talk. That is what is going to change people's hearts. True joy in your walk is going to shine through in your life if it is in your heart, you cannot fake your way into joy. Instead being that Christian I choose to Rock My Halo.

Parable of the Pharisee and the Tax Collector

2012-01-05T10:30:00.000-05:00

Today, on the way to work I had in mind what I was going to post. I had a photo picked out and had started writing in my head. Then I logged into my inbox at work and had an email that broke my heart. I have already shared that I am part of a group of people who choose to brighten the days of others through sending out cards and well wishes when people need a word of encouragement. These cards can be sent for many reasons and people trust us with the personal information of their friends, family and loved ones.

Someone in our group used this information to send an ugly card to a recipient. They took personal information and used it against someone in need. To make matters worse they did this in the name of Christianity. This person did not sign the card or put a return address on the envelope. They wrote the most vile things to a person who needed encouragement and hid their identity.

It is my prayer that this person will come forward and apologise, so our group can move forward. I also pray for the people who received the card that they will understand that this is NOT how Christian's behave. This is not the behavior of a person who truly loves Christ.

To some who were confident of their own righteousness and looked down on everybody else, Jesus told this parable: "Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee stood up and prayed about himself: 'God, I thank you that I am not like other men--robbers, evildoers, adulterers--or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get.'

"But the tax collector stood at a distance. He would not even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and said, 'God, have mercy on me, a sinner.' "I tell you that this man, rather than the other, went home justified before God. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted."

Luke 18: 9-14

Let Your Yes Be Your Yes

2012-01-04T11:30:00.000-05:00

A few months ago, I made a commitment to work at a band event for our high school. The event was planned to be one way, about 2 weeks before the event I was told the entire plan had been changed and I was now in charge of a totally different event than I had planned. I was also expected to be there triple the hours I had originally planned. This change put my family into a bit of a bind but if I had backed out at the last minute the event, a huge fundraiser, would not have had enough volunteers. I went into crazy planning mode with my family and worked out a last minute sitter for my youngest child and decided not to back out. I was frustrated with the change but made due because I had given my word to help.

I tend to be a "get it done" person and cannot understand people who are not. I don't understand people who give their word then back out. To me my word is what my character and integrity is built on. If people cannot trust you to keep your word what can they trust you with?

Our band event was a roaring success that day. I had great helpers and my husband stepped in and helped A LOT without him running around like crazy I am not sure we could have pulled it off. I was exhausted at the end of the night as were all of my great volunteers but we got so many compliments from visiting bands that it was worth the effort.

Simply let your 'Yes' be 'Yes,' and your 'No,' 'No'; anything beyond this comes from the evil one.

Matthew 5:37 (NIV)

Stick Pins and Memories

2012-01-02T08:44:00.001-05:00

Stick pins, does that bring back any memories for you? It does for me. I was in late elementary school the last time I thought about stick pins. They were all the rage, you could get them in all kinds of shapes and designs: cats, dogs, stars, pearls, diamonds, etc. I remember that I wanted one with my inital on it so badly that I could not see straight. Finally, I got on for Christmas and I wore it all the time. Then the fad changed into something else, I lost the pin and did not think about it again until recently when I was challenged to make a stick pin.

The thing about fads is they come and go. They are so important in the moment that we have to have them but sometimes the next day, the next week, the next month they are gone. In our lives we need to focus on things that will not fade away with popular opinion and time. We need to focus on things that really matter: our faith, our family and the people around us. Those things when we put effort into them will not fade away.

Stick pins begin simple enough just beads and corsage pins. Then you just use your imagination and add nice beads to make them look how you want. Then you can add them to cards, gifts or anything you want to dress up.

"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

Matthew 6:18-21

Old Things Become New

2011-12-31T10:27:00.000-05:00

I decided to try something new yesterday. My sister in-law gave me a box full of paper cutouts over the summer; the box was really cute. I thought to myself I am going to save this box and use it for something. That box has sat and sat on the shelf since July just taking up space because I had no idea what to do with it. A few times when I was reorganizing things, I had it in the "I know I need to throw this out pile" but could not bring myself to do it. So, there it sat on the shelf waiting for me to give it a purpose.

I found a purpose for that little box. I am doing a Valentine's Day swap and decided rather than just send my partner her items in a plain USPS box, I was going to try altering a box. I am sure it is not the best altered box project but I am happy with my first try. I think my partner will like to open this little box of goodies rather than just a USPS mailer.

As I was sitting adding ribbon, embellishments and glitter to this once plain box. The scripture below came to mind. I realized that my old life was completely different compared to the one I have now in Christ. A life in Christ is not always perfect just like this little box is not perfect but it is better than life without Him.

Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away;

behold, all things are become new.
2 Corinthians 5:17

In the Blink of an Eye

2011-12-29T11:52:00.000-05:00

My oldest daughter is halfway through her junior year in high school. She is not really into crafting, she is a writer. She has been writing books since she could form a complete sentence. I recently found a book she wrote for her little brother's birthday when she was about 9 years old, it is even illustrated. She rarely comes into my scrapbooking room but when she does I really enjoy our time together. Last week, she told me she need to go to JoAnn's because her friend was having a masquerade party and she needed to make a mask. So, we went to get a mask and a few things I did not have. Then we sat together and crafted: a rare but fun time together. As she added little things to her mask, we talked, laughed and just enjoyed each others company.

As I look forward to her approaching senior year, I cannot help but look back at how quickly her years have just flown by. Once when she was about three years old, we were leaving church and she was throwing a temper tantrum over something she wanted to do or have. I was a stressed mom of three kids under four years old, when an older lady in our church looked up and said to me, "You are going to blink and she will be going to college." She was right.

Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward.

Psalm 127:3

Encourage One Another

2011-12-28T10:34:00.000-05:00

I am taking the blog on a new journey. I recently started making cards after years of avoiding cardmaking, scrapbooking and being creative in general this summer I decided to try my hand at making a card with my sister in-law. It was FUN and I was pretty good at it which was really shocking to me. I found that making cards was really a relaxing outlet for me. So, I slowly started making cards just for a few people. Here and there not telling anyone I was doing this. Then my SIL sent me a link to a Cricut machine on sale for a deep discount.

I bought the machine but I could not figure out how to make it work! It would tear the paper, it would cut some things but not others. I was frustrated nearly to tears. So, I went to the company website looking for help. What I found was a community of online friends. First, they helped me figure out that crazy "bug" of mine and now I can actually work my machine.

Second and most important I found a new ministry. It is a ministry where you make cards and send them to people who just need encouragement on their journey. I don't have a huge family or a great need for making cards and I was wondering what in the world I was going to do with the cards I was going to make then I found a purpose for the little gift I have been given. It doesn't matter how big or small your gift is God will find a way for you to use the gifts He gives.

Here is the card I made today for someone who needs a bit of encouragement.

PS. I only have 1 follower (thanks Susan!) follow my blog and post a comment. From the comments on this post, I will have a drawing on Jan. 15th for a gift card to Starbucks or JoAnn's (your choice).

We Are Not Gender Neutral; We Are Man and Woman

2011-05-31T10:13:00.000-04:00

Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. Genesis 2:22 NIV

I had the pleasure to spend this weekend with several of my niece's after not seeing them for years. They have grown into wonderful young ladies; several of them have graduated from high school and college. They have children of their own; they are passionate about their ideas and opinions as are all of the people in my family. We have lively discussions when we are together it is one of the things that makes my family my family.

My niece made a minor comment about her son being “tough because he’s a boy”. The other niece said even girls can be tough but we made them soft that we are born “gender neutral” and society makes us male or female. Then the conversation escalated to a debate from there. My sister solidly in the God made us male and female side of the argument quoted the bible sometimes incorrectly but her heart was in the right place. I on the other hand agree that God made us male and female; I have no doubt about those roles. I argued that there are some roles that society does force males and females into. Such as males cannot wear certain colors, females cannot play certain sports, etc.

Then yesterday, I logged online and found the following article: http://news.yahoo.com/s/yblog_thelookout/20110524/ts_yblog_thelookout/parents-keep-childs-gender-under-wraps . After reading this article I feel that I should have defended my position on God creating Man and Woman as passionately as my sister did. There is no gray area, we are not gender neutral, and we are not undecided about our sex until we decide at some point in our lives that we want to be male or female. We are born male or female as decided by God.

Planned Parenting

2010-09-12T17:57:00.001-04:00

“Sons are a heritage from the Lord, children a reward from him.”

Psalm 127:3

Got your attention didn’t I? No, this is not devotion on birth control. It is actually just a commentary on how I have learned to parent my children over the years. When I was a young mom, with three children under four years old, I was parenting by the seat of my pants. Taking every day as they came and dealing with issues as they arose. I did not have the forethought to plan for tomorrow, much less what the crazy teen years might bring; they were too far in the future to worry about.

Fortunately, I was surrounded by a group of ladies at church who had walked the road I was on prior to me. I saw their children turning into wonderful young people and asked for their advice. One of the best pieces of advice I was ever given was, “if something is not cute at 12 it should not be cute at 2.” I took that to heart and have not allowed my children as toddlers to do many things; setting the bar high so they cannot say, “But you let me do it before.”

I also watched those families in action. What I saw was moms and dads that were “hands on” with their children; so I decided to be that kind of parent. When my children have events, I do everything I can to make sure that I or their dad is there. Sometimes, that means we split up as a family. I believe that all children like having their family support them in activities even when they act like they don’t.

Moms, I challenge you today to begin, if you are not already, to plan how you are parenting your children. God has blessed you with a great treasure. He chose each of your children especially for you.

Malena Rose

2010-09-04T11:44:00.000-04:00

March 23, 1998 - September 4, 2000

Today it has been ten years since my daughter Malena died. This ten years has been an incredible journey that I wish I never had to take. At church the Sunday school class I am am part of has been having lessons on being "lonely in a crowd", as a bereaved mother there are times that I am lonely in a crowd more often than can be put into words. Unless you have had a child die you cannot understand what this means. To sit with other moms and hear them talk about their children who are the age that your daughter would be today and wonder who she would be, would she like to sing or dance or read like her sisters or none of the above. It is very strange.

Then on the other hand I have gained so much since Malena died. Scott and I made a decision when Malena died that our marriage would not suffer because of her death. That we would not become a one of the many couples who break up when they lose a child; we did not want that to be her legacy. My marriage is actually stronger as is my faith in God because I learned that I could not live daily without Him or my husband after her death. I also learned very quickly what my priorities were after Malena's death. My husband, my children, my faith all became the center of my life. What was shocking was the world did not fall apart when my made these things priority; it got better. Yes, I lost some friends and some family members who want me to move on and checked out but I found a peace that doesn't come from something I could have done on my own. God has brought beauty from ashes today.

http://malena-rose.memory-of.com/Timeline.aspx

Life is a Building Project

2010-08-27T11:00:00.000-04:00

By the grace God has given me, I laid a foundation as an expert builder, and someone else is building on it. But each one should be careful how he builds.

1 Corinthians 3:10

My husband works in commercial construction, some of the photos he brings home makes me wonder if I want to step foot in many of the buildings we take for granted are safe everyday. Crumbling balconies, walls that are falling apart, moldy carpets, and these are the things that they can see without special equipment. Owners of these places want a quick fix for the lowest price often even if it means not doing all the work necessary or just patching the worst things.

I often think about how hard it is to parent my children, how much work it is. That it is a never ending battle to keep their schedules straight. To keep them on task, to keep rooms clean (ha!), to stop them from fighting or bickering and I wonder if I am the best person for this job. Did God know what He was doing when He gave these children this mother? Because sometimes I see crumbling balconies and walls that are falling apart. Then I am reminded that our life is built on a firm foundation of Christ it is crazy for this day or season but it is not falling apart. Storms may come but our Foundation will not fail us; He will keep us safe and strong.

The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down. (Prov. 14:1 NIV)

What is it About School Choices That Drives Us to Judge Each Other So Harshly?

2010-08-25T10:14:00.000-04:00

Fix these words of mine in your hearts and minds; tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates, so that your days and the days of your children may be many in the land that the LORD swore to give your forefathers, as many as the days that the heavens are above the earth.

Deuteronomy 11:18-21 (NIV)

As of yesterday, all of my children are back in school. School supplies, new clothes, uniforms and shoes have been purchased. In many ways I love the beginning of a new school year; in many ways I hate it. I love the smell of new books and the crisp clean new supplies laid out with the anticipation of what is to come in the year. I hate the new year because I miss my children during the long hours they are at school. I am a mom that has not gotten over the long day without them at home. Even with my oldest in her second year of high school, I still miss having my babies at home. So, much that I got a job to fill the hours that they are away!

Now, I am going to step onto a soapbox of mine. I was sitting at a church dinner the other night. A lady asked me about my children. I told her their ages and names and I bragged a little. She went on to ask about their schools but her question was not what school did they attend it was: do they go to a Christian school? I said only Coolgirl3, Coolboy goes to a charter school and Coolgirl1 goes to public school. This woman said "at least Coolgirl3 is fortunate enough to go to a Christian school". My jaw dropped! I was speechless and those who know me know this does not happen often.

I have schooled my children over the years in various ways. They have been homeschooled, charter schooled, Christian schooled and public schooled. I loved homeschooling, our home school years were some of the best we had in our home. The reality that Coolgirl1 would not be homeschooled for her entire school career came early in 4th grade when she looked at me and said, “Mom, you can just tell me what pages to do in math and I will tell you when I need help.” She did the entire book with no assistance from me. There was no way that I could keep her challenged at home. Kudos, to homeschool moms that have that ability to keep this kind of child engaged but I did not; so I sought out a school that did.

Finding a school that worked for Coolgirl1 was the catalyst to ending our homeschool career. God has taken our family on an incredible journey with schooling our children. When we had our first child, I thought we would just enroll our children in the neighborhood school and that would be it. We would get up each morning, drop off children, do the PTA thing, maybe be room mother and then head home for coffee with freinds. If it had only been that easy!

My path to schooling has been a really crooked, crazy one. I have schooled my children in just about every way possible. It drives me crazy when I am judged the way I was Sunday evening. I have chosen to school my children in the school that is the best possible school for each of them. It is not always fun for me, I drive a 30 minute carpool each way every day but this is a season for me. It is their future, it is what I feel is best for them. It was not a decision that I came to lightly or easily. I did not flip a coin to make these choices, I am sure that you did not either. Nor did your friends or neighbors. Let's stop judging each others choices and support each other.

No school is perfect, they all have their positives and negatives. They all have their good teachers and bad teachers. Pray for all of our teachers today they are shaping our future leaders in their classrooms, no matter where they are teaching.

The Proverbs 31 Woman

2010-08-23T13:42:00.000-04:00

The Wife of Noble Character (Proverbs 31:10-31 KJV)

10 Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. 11 The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. 12 She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life. 13 She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands. 14 She is like the merchants ' ships; she bringeth her food from afar. 15 She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens. 16 She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard. 17 She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms. 18 She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night. 19 She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff. 20 She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy. 21 She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet. 22 She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple. 23 Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land. 24 She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant. 25 Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come. 26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness. 27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness. 28 Her children arise up , and call her blessed ; her husband also, and he praiseth her. 29 Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all. 30 Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised . 31 Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.

Thankfully, a wonderful and wise friend pointed out to me a while back that in studying this passage she learned that the Proverbs 31 woman was actually the span of a woman's life. The "person" that many Christian women try so hard to live up to did not do these things on a daily basis. She did this over the course of her life! Thank you, Lauren, for clearing that up. That was so freeing to me.

So, I live my life as a Proverbs 31 wannabe. There are things in the passage above that I will never accomplish. I will never for example plant a vineyard. I have tried my hand a gardening plenty of times with my family and they will tell you the results were pretty brown and withered. I would rather read a good book any day than go out and weed a garden. Unfortunately, there is not much time for books right now as I choose to spend a lot of time with my children in this season of my life. It is my prayer that one day they will look back and know that they were the most important thing that I could do with my time even if it was just carting them around from event to event. I know today that I am blessed to have these three children in my life as well as a husband that loves me.

Please come back as I share my trials and tribulations of my days, recipes, and devotions etc.